On my way to work this morning, I saw a Hummer on lifts. 

Stop and think about this for a second:  I’m talking about a hulking vehicle (5500 lbs) that’s already so big that it’s not required to report it’s gas mileage on it’s window sticker…. on lifts.  This vehicle was jacked up about another foot over top of it’s already higher-than-average height, riding on HUGE dubs…. probably 26’s.

Big deal:  lots of people customize their vehicles, right?  Sure — I don’t have a problem w/ custom rides, but my issues is that this f’ing vehicle was so damn high that it’s lower bumper edge was level w/ my head while I rode by it in my coupé.  This pisses me off for two reasons:

  1. In a collision, this fucking monster would completely flatten me.  Combine it’s mass w/ the fact that my car’s ENTIRE defense systems would be completely by-passed (impact reinforcements, air bags, crumple zones), and I have to take offense.  In my state, the legal limit for ride height is 28 inches — I KNOW this car had to be at least three feet.
  2. I can’t see around today’s taller STOCK vehicles:  when you lift it another 8 or so inches, I have no hope at all of seeing around you.  When I drive, I like to look past the car in front of me so that I can get an idea of what you’re going to be doing — pretty common practice, I imagine.  W/ trucks, SUV’s and mini-vans, however, I can’t do that — I can’t see around/through them.  Worse yet, drivers in these types (especially mini-vans) tend to be either in no rush at all, or completely distracted by a car full of screaming children.  Let’s face it, even if your children are angels, you’re not completely focused on driving:  some part of you is concerned ever what your little angel’s up to back there.

About five years ago I coined a term for vehicles like this (ones that I can’t see around):

Idiotmobiles.