Teens proposition prostitutes for Halo marathon:
A 13 year old from Texas who used cash from a stolen credit card to hire two prostitutes to play Halo with him has been found guilty of fraud. Ralph Hardy was given a three-year community order after he ordered an extra credit card on his Dad’s account, then took his mates on a $30,000 shopping spree, and played Halo with two prostitutes in a motel, reports News.com.au.

The kids checked into the Texas motel, and then promptly ordered deliveries of Dr Pepper, Fritos, and Oreo cookies. They then asked the delivery clerk if they knew where they could “score some chicks,” adding that they were willing to pay for the privilege.

Theyexplained away the fact that they had pots of money by tellingthe clerk that they had won big in a World of Warcraft tournament, and that they “wanted to relax.”

The boys told the girls that they weren’t underage, they were “people of restricted growth working with a traveling circus”, and that to discriminate against them on the basis of their disability would be breaking state law. However, in the end, the kids decided to play Halo on Xboxes with the girls, who reportedly told police they thought something was up when their clients just wanted to play games.

The delivery clerk called the police, who arrived at the scene to find $3,000 in cash, the two women, electronic gadgets including the console, and oodles of soft drinks and munchies. The prostitutes were released without charge.

First off, this kid is a jerkface for sticking it to his dad — the only guy who got screwed in the whole deal — with a giant credit card bill. 

Next, he’s an idiot for ordering effing Dr. Pepper, Fritos and Oreos.  Look:  I know you’re 13, but you HAVE to have heard of SOME gourmet foods by that age.  Even if you only got the stereotypical gourmet stuff, at least be adventurous and get something interesting.  Gorging on junk makes for a really idiotic story.  If, after this all dies down, you’ve repaid your father and you’re hittin on some chicks in your later life, you can laugh about how you went on a caviar and champagne spree.

Halo in a hotel room?  Seriously?  What happened to taking a trip to somewhere interesting?  I imagine plane and bus tickets would be hard to score at 13, and renting a car is right out, but a cab to an amusement park would surely be within his reach, no?

And lastly… playing Halo w/ prostitutes?  Even if you’re not going to have sex, you could at least get some quality pro-tips. 

They do get some credit for the “restricted growth” circus story, and big ups to the cops for letting the prostitutes off free — no crime in playing video games :)